Personality

It had been a while since I'd done a personality test, but all of us boys in the house did one this weekend, just for fun. I know the result can change as a person grows, but it wasn't surprising to come up with the same result again: INFP.

Funnily enough, Thing One also came up as INFP. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, I suppose.

It's been a long time since I'd read up on any of this stuff, so this morning I read through 16personalities's INFP guide.

Golly. It's as if they know me or something. Right from the first phrase:

Although they may seem quiet or unassuming…

I mean… you were the one who called me the most unassuming man you'd ever met. I'll be honest, I wasn't really sure how to take that at first. I ultimately decided you probably saw it as a good thing, or at the very worst a neutral thing. But anyhow.

…they happily lose themselves in daydreams, inventing all sorts of stories and conversations in their minds.

Who, me? Never. Ahem.

…these personalities can be vulnerable to internalizing other people’s negative moods or mindsets.

One of the reasons I can't read unsentletters anymore. Not just because I've found myself senselessly looking for you there (…and even been reasonably sure I've found you …as the world falls down…). But also because I've stumbled onto some stranger having a bad day… and found myself turning around and having a bad day, myself. There is so much interesting material in that one little sub, but I'm just not built to handle it well. But I digress…

Few things make Mediators more uneasy than pretending to be someone they aren’t.

Feel like I wrote something about something like this earlier today, but I just can't seem to find it anymore… 🤔

While this is a beautiful trait, these personalities sometimes show a tendency to daydream and fantasize rather than take action.

Guilty as charged. Trying to be better about this, with some amount of success. I don't want to use this as a crutch, but… if you ever feel like I'm losing myself in the fantasy, well… I guess that's just part of who I am! lol. Kidding! Of course! I really am trying to be better about this, but I know it's been an issue for me, and for the growth of our relationship. I'm sorry, my love. But I am doing better.

This quiet belief in doing the right thing may explain why these personalities so often inspire compassion, kindness, and beauty wherever they go.

I mean, I try! lol.

…and they hate the idea of hurting anyone, even unintentionally.

Yeah. To my detriment, sometimes.

Because they’re so accepting, Mediators often become confidants for their friends and loved ones — and occasionally for total strangers.

I've got a small handful of internet friends I've made that I'll probably need to tell you about at some point… Speaking of being confidants for total strangers…

Mediators long to connect with others, but they don’t always know how.

Yes.

Unfortunately, Mediators’ desire to please others can drain their energy, eclipsing their inner wisdom and their awareness of their own needs.

Also yes.

Mediators (INFPs) are dreamers and idealists, especially when it comes to romance.

🤔

Devoted and loyal, they nevertheless respect their partner’s independence, aiming to accept their partners as they are.

One of my favorite recent musical finds, AMAZING by Rex Orange County, comes to mind: 🎶 Don't change a thing, you are amazing 🎶. Are you exactly what I think you are? Almost certainly not. But don't change yourself to meet me where I am. I'll change my understanding of you to meet you where you are. And love you all the more for it.

Many people with this personality type dedicate themselves to helping their partners improve their lives.

I've said it before and I'll say it again… Not that you need it, but I would be so very happy to provide you with a stable base from which to launch. I see that ambition glowing in you. I suspect that that one initiative might not be going how you hoped, but don't let that discourage you. I'm behind you all the way, and would support you in every which way I can, for every which way you might want to grow.

I gotchu, boo.

To avoid triggering a conflict, Mediators may avoid talking openly about things that are bothering them — instead, they might mentally fixate on the problem or try to solve it on their own.

Guilty.

They may also focus on making their partner happy, to the detriment of their own priorities and sense of self.

…………also guilty of this.

And while they hesitate to draw attention to themselves, they don’t want to be invisible, either.

A walking contradiction… but absolutely true.

In their understated, nondomineering way, Mediators love guiding others to learn and grow…

Probably, lol.

People with this personality type delight in their children’s wide-eyed wonder at the world, and they want to give their children freedom…

Yes.

They want to teach key values to their children, including honesty, compassion, and the importance of caring for others.

I think I'm doing pretty well in this regard, to boot. Thing Two is a little less so than Thing One, but… it's there with him, too.

Discipline may not come easily to Mediators…

Guilty.

…but when balanced with their caring, gentle natures, it can become a powerful tool in their mission to teach their children the difference between right and wrong.

Well, I hope so anyways…

By the same token, Mediators often try to shield their children from the greater problems in the world. This is certainly appropriate when their children are young, but eventually, Mediators need to find ways to talk through tougher issues with their kids.

Yeah… I'm having to work on this.

They want to spend their days doing something they genuinely love, preferably without too much stress or drama.

This is the way.

With their curiosity and their love of self-expression, many Mediators dream of becoming writers.

🧐

Whatever they do, Mediators want to feel that their work is helping others.

This was my biggest complaint about my chosen career path, until one day when I brought it up to a friend of mine who worked in the defense industry. He told me that he and a number of his colleagues absolutely depended on the people who do what I do to relax when they got home. That my work is actually important in helping people to reduce stress, and to keep themselves sane.

I mean. It was just one dude saying this stuff, but I guess it was good enough for me because here I am still doing it 20 years later.

This explains why praise and positive feedback can make them light up.

Side note: Regardless of all else, I know you speak Words of Affirmation very well.

…people with this personality type might get caught up in procrastination, bouncing from one idea to another rather than settling down and crossing tasks off their to-do list.

I have a house full of half-done home improvement projects… so… um… Yes. Probably. Lol.

Pleasant and kindhearted, Mediators don’t like conflict, drama, or workplace politics.

Yes.

Few personality types are as poetic and kindhearted as Mediators (INFPs).

Awwww. Well. I try.

Anyhow…

So, did the test nail my personality? I'd say yes, unquestionably. I wonder, though, what your take might be. Not to mention what your own personality type is. I don't know enough about the different types to make a guess. A couple of years ago I might have guessed that, whatever it is, it starts with an E. I think I was wrong, though. Outgoing is not the same as extroverted. But I freely admit that I may still be wrong… As for the rest of it… I mean… kind, empathetic… I think we share a lot of traits, and perhaps that's one reason we seem to mesh so well. But, are you another INFP? Probably not, and I wouldn't venture to guess. But I'd love to know.

Quietly yours,
♒️